Plain English Proof Reading - Editing and Rewriting

Question: Describe about the Plain English for Proof Reading, Editing and Rewriting. Answer: Original Acme Company Group Newsletter Sentence Acme Company Group Newsletter Comments or Observations on Grammar and Language 1. Appraisal of what? Management of what? These points should be incorporated in the sentence 2. In order for is clumsy and not plain English just use 'For'. 3. This is incorrect word. That should be used Which board? Greater should not be utilized. The entire sentence should be broken into two simple sentence to the remove the sentence complexity 4. Significant sales increases can be achieved is grammatically incorrect. Short term should not used. Short timeline can be used instead of it. 5. Use of thereby is incorrect. 6. Constantly and critically should not be used at the end of the sentence 7. then adapted is clumsy and not plain English 8. Modification should be made over the phrase As the system evolves. Edited and Re-Written Acme Company Group Newsletter The performance management has accepted the need for implementing greater group integration within the Acme companies following the recent performance appraisal undertaken by XYZ. it must show a consistent level of performance across all operating units, particularly in terms of marketing and sales skills for the group to present a common image. To obtain that the performance management board has accepted the fact that the central management must play a great part in directing each company activity. However, t is recognized that the autonomy of each company must be retained. It is also accepted that increase in significant sales can be accomplished within short timeline by improving the overall group standard of sales management and control. The sales control system should take into account the need for simplicity by maximizing real selling time. the role of individual sales management will be to constantly and critically evaluate their respective sales operations. From this study, t he most appropriate system will be selected and adapted to incorporate the specific operational characteristics of the Acme Group. As per the evolution of the system, it will be corroborated by referring back to the individual companies in order to ensure comparability with national requirements. Original Blue Sky Airlines Letter Paragraph Blue Sky Airlines Letter Observations or Comments on Language and Grammar 1. Improper use of adverb, recently That should be used between a complaint and you had Incorrect use of to travel in the second line of the paragraph Wrong use of the verb charges a $35 fee is an incorrect phrase Incorrect use of the verb, paid A preposition is required between, requested and a refund In your case, a total of $70 is clumsy and not plain English 2. In the first line of the paragraph, after within, a pronoun or a noun is expected. To would be replaced by the after the phrase cost of attending. That should be used instead of so in the second sentence of the paragraph. a $35 coupon should be changed into a coupon of $ 35 3. Use of that is not necessary between I suggest and you carefully Reflecting on the questions as well as the letters, it must be stated that the letter is not written effectively. There are few grammatical errors in the letter. Apart from that, language of the letter should be more improvised. Thus, in order to write a proper letter, the grammar, language as well as the format of the letter should be focused to be presented in an effective manner. Edited and Re-Written Blue Sky Airlines Letter Blue Sky Airlines January 18, 2014 Dear Mr. Johnson, Recently, you wrote a complaint with Blue Sky Airlines. Allegedly, you purchased a ticket from the Travelocity online ticket service for your 19-year-old son who would travel from Chicago to Miami on October 12. When you arrived at OHare airport in Chicago on October 12, you were informed that Blue Sky Airlines charged a fee of $ 35 to deal with minors who were traveling alone. You were also told that your son could not be approved for boarding unless you paid the fee. You already paid that fee. However, you requested for the refund of that fee. In your case, the total amount of that fees is $ 70. If you had read the special information attached to your ticket order, you would have seen our policy clearly stated within that. Blue Sky Airlines charges a fee of $35 each way for the cost of attending the unattended minors. Therefore, we are not obligated to refund your fee according to our policies. We apologize to inform you that we would not be able to refund the money. However, we are sending you (enclosed) a coupon of $35 which you may apply to your next Blue Sky Airlines ticket purchase. In the future, I suggest you to read carefully all the provisions and conditions of airline tickets you purchase. This way you will avoid unpleasant surprises. Sincerely, Charles Wentworth Client Services Representative Blue Sky Airlines Bibliography Cutts, M., 2013.Oxford guide to plain English. OUP Oxford. de Groote, M.L., Verschure, P.J. and Rots, M.G., 2012. Epigenetic Editing: targeted rewriting of epigenetic marks to modulate expression of selected target genes.Nucleic acids research, p.gks863. Raskind, M.H. and Higgins, E., 1995. Effects of speech synthesis on the proofreading efficiency of postsecondary students with learning disabilities.Learning Disability Quarterly,18(2), pp.141-158. Turner, J., 2012. Rewriting writing in higher education: the contested spaces of proofreading.Studies in Higher Education,36(4), pp.427-440.